Book Release ‘Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting’

Author, CEO and Mother of four, Victorine Mbong Shu has published one of a series of books on Involved Parenting. The self-published book titled ‘Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting’ was launched on the 3^rd of March 2016 in Johannesburg by Profounder Publishing and Self-publishing (2016) as she continues working on the second book. In her book, Victorine writes that children these days seem to grow up very successful but appear to be emotionally lacking. That parents, caregivers and guardians are faced with challenges in parenting that go beyond physically and consciously being there for their children. As a result, they pay schools and institutions who raise children in compromising manner. To Victorine, Employers and workplaces are faced with distracted parents who among other things, worry about the challenges of bringing up stable and fulfilled children. Policy-makers are accused of being focused on drafting policies that attract investors that are focused on financial and not conscious (immaterial) gains. Governments are criticised for implementing policies that do not favour parents and children. Victorine asks that where and when did all this begin and who can do what about all this? 

DESCRIPTION OF THE BOOK 

It is worth remembering that:
‘Only adults can make children what they become and hope to be.

Most adults know this, some do not, but all children

will not know this unless they are taught’.

Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting is a book written to provoke not only parents, caregivers and guardians, but adults, institutions, policy-makers and governments in general, to come together and raise children in ways that they grow up valuing life. The book create an opportunity for adults to look back and try to find what went wrong in parenting that has caused so many breakdowns in value systems and cultures across the world. Without necessarily going into the details of ideals, the narratives in this book create a laid back reading companion. The book consider, with a sense of humour, the many distractions encountered by parents and adults in their daily parenting. It makes enjoyable reads because the book recount real life experiences of the author in her capacity as a spouse, a mother of four, a Chief Executive Officer and employer of parents and young adults, a multidisciplinary researcher, a motivational skills development facilitator and an author.

In this book, Victorine describes how mothering with joy, trials and tribulations has kept her going as a motivated and involved parent. She brings a lot of diversity into the book by sharing cases of mothers, fathers, married couples, separated couples, estranged couples, same-sex parents, biological parents, parents of adopted children, relatives who parent, friends parent, neighbours parent, and also institutional caregivers. However, she is adamant that she has chosen how she defines her parenting style, how she chooses to live with her children and her spouse and how she needs to navigate her daily activities; just like everyone else. Even though Victorine provokes all spheres by questioning the capability of parents, institutions and governments in current times, she encourages you to read this book to help with coping strategies. As you read, you will find out how families have managed to bring up children in times where more effort is being put into parenting than in the benefits reaped from being a parent.

To stop complaining and becoming an involved parent requires some investment in time, money and effort, and like every investment, it has challenges. These challenges can easily be combated by the type of mind-set we develop regarding children and their upbringing and then how we teach them. To stop complaining and bring back involved parenting, parents and adults have to look at the following cores; they have to break down parenting such that the role of mothers and fathers are defined. Thereafter, both parents have to be positioned, but continuously repositioned such that their roles are in line with their changing values and statuses both at home and out of home. Parents also have to normalise attitudes in their houses and in society on how they choose to groom their children. After this is done, parents will have to accept that family patterns today are very flexible, that there is a variety of difference in how different genders perceive and execute parenting and that single parents definitely parent differently from every other type of parents.

Involved parents like every other adult battle with themselves, with society, with children, with finances, with socio-cultural and other trials. When ground rules are laid as shown in this book parents, children, and institutions have to start focusing on consistency and continuity with certain degrees of monitoring and evaluation techniques aimed at the betterment of all. Children need to be conscious of the fact that adults are watching over them. As you look after your children, make this book your companion and enjoy the wisdom shared by all participants. Enjoy being an involved parent. Enjoy investing in your children so that they too might enjoy investing in theirs.

Victorine’s words

‘I wrote both books as a full-time Masters student who graduated within 18 months, a full time working mother of four and a wife, Chief Executive Officer, mentor, motivator and workplace skills development facilitator. My intention is to share how I managed to drive my children every day to and from activities, stayed with them, worked in my garden, fed my family home-cooked meals, supervised homework, made sure that we maintained our lifestyles by attending to every invitation both from schools and peers, and made sure I was with them, how I volunteered my time in their school and in playing with them, and how I did all this and still had time to sit in meetings, conduct training, spend time with their father and never missed a lecture or meeting at University. With your encouragement in time, skills or both, I would like this book to tell every parent, caregiver and guardian that my intention is not for them to be super parents, caregivers and guardians, but for us to be effective parents. Remember, both books document other people’s experiences and stories as well. Please push me. Push my thoughts and push my intention’.

Why read these Books?

These books are meant to redirect parenting, caregiving and guardianship such that old norms are reintroduced for the enjoyment of all; children, adults, institutions, policy-makers and governments. Of course they are not common titles and cited live experiences can also help to boost workplace morale. We do not have enough of parenting in everything we do, and this is almost evident in the type of children that we are grooming. Do we sit back and blame the children?

This set of books are set apart by the fact that they reflect real life situations of our times. The books and projects that will be born of them are aimed to revive the life everywhere including the workplace, and to recreate discussions between individuals and their bosses/employers but also with policy-makers on the topic of parenting. Given that children are tomorrow’s leaders, the creation and preservation of legacies across sectors and at different levels all comes with molding better children for the world. Implementing practices in both books could just be the expansion of your legacy.

Readership Includes

Readership of this book is wide. They include working and none-working adults of every gender including: Learners or young adults, parents, caregivers, guardians, policy-makers, administrators, business owners, etc.

Synopsis

·         The original books are 200 pages each, cover to cover and written in an easy to read manner.

Track Record

·         This book was self-published and launched on the 3^rd of March 2016. Two weeks later (17 March) over 100 copies and counting have been sold.

Pricing

A copy of the book is sold at R145.00.

Marketing

• Both books are the main readers. This means that there will be no support to reading them, except in cases where workshops are needed.
• For no other reason, these books are aimed at every adult. They are written to prepare them on how to be self-disciplined, but also how to enjoy grooming children who may not necessarily be theirs.

Availability

For now, copies can be bought from the following avenues;

·         Victorine on +27 82 548 6385 / www.mbongshu.co.za

·         Facebook on http://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book  

·         Her office/Publishers on +27 11 346 8300/ www.profounder.co.za  

·         Profound Conference Centre on +27 11 440 7501 / www.profoundconferencecentre.co.za

·         Amazon books on www.amazon.com (search by book title) or eBook on www.kindle.com  

The author

Victorine Mbong Shu

Victorine is a businesswoman, researcher, workshops facilitator, conference speaker and chairlady, motivational speaker, wife, author and involved mother to four bubbly children. She is the founder and current chief executive officer of Profounder Intelligence Management Services www.profounder.co.za. Victorine facilitates workshops and seminars for executives and managers on a wide variety of topics. Most of her training are focused at employee and organisation wellness. These training are aimed to build and manage effective and friendly work environments. Through her company, she has accumulated a wide variety of clients that cut across sectors in over 18 countries. Her love for creating relationships that benefit children are eminent in these books. Her desire to expand the discourse beyond bounds has prompted her to initiate a non-governmental organisation named The Involved Corner.

As a mother of 4, employer and motivational speaker my journey and experience could also help to boost workplace morale should she facilitate in-house interactions at your invitation.

I thank you for reading this proposal and I look forward to hear from you. Please like the books’ Facebook page on http://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book to contribute or prompt discussions on this area. Work on Involved Parenting will be on www.mbongshu.co.za

Thank you for your time as I anticipate advice on the way forward or a meeting with you at your soonest convenience.

Victorine Mbong Shu.

Author and Conversationist on Involved Parenting

 Availability of book

Copies can be bought from the following avenues;

 Victorine on +27 82 548 6385

 Facebook on https://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book 

My works on www.mbongshu.co.za 

Publisher on +27 11 346 8300/www.profounder.co.za 

Xarra Books: www.Xarrabooks.co.za

     Online in South Africa: www.sabooksearch.co.za 

     Hard Copies: +27 11 440 7501- Johannesburg or www.profoundcentre.co.za 

Amazon books on www.amazon.com (search by book title) or eBook on www.kindle.com  

One Day. We Counted that there would be four children.

Sexual Abuse. Want to teach your children some safety tips?

Sexual Abuse. Want to teach your children some safety tips?

I have always wondered how best to educate my children on self awareness and life skills. I have always thought that as a prayerful family, God will always watch out for us. But after all, I now think that talking is important. I think that it is of essence to let our children know about themselves, their body parts and who should or should not see, let alone touch their body parts.

I cannot help but think about the rise in childhood sexual abuse around the world.

here are some tips on how to help kids know their selves.

1. Teach children to listen to their gut or intuition. Most kids have an excellent radar on people. They can determine who feels safe and who does not ...listen to them. As adults, we tend to minimize what our children think. This is not helpful.

Our children must believe in themselves and listen to what their intuition tells them. Do not expose your children to people they have a bad intuition about. 

2. Talk about safety and secrets. As a rule, I believe we should never teach kids to keep secrets. If you are planning a party for someone, teach kids that this is a surprise. Surprises are good, secrets are usually bad. Begin at an early age at discussing what to do if someone tells a child to keep a secret. Because most child molesters are known to the victim, this is a common phrase: "It's our little secret." 

3. Do not be afraid to ask the tough question. When we as adults can't handle talking about a tough topic like sexual abuse, how in the world can we expect our children to handle it? Thus, do not be afraid to ask the question, "Has anyone ever hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable?" Then, be prepared for the answer.

If the answer is yes, do not freak out! Be supportive and comforting. Listen, use less words. Then, let your child know: "we will figure this out as we go along." 

4. Educate children about sexual abuse. A standard rule to use with children is "no one can touch your private parts except you. Mommies and daddies can help you if you are feeling sick and sometimes doctors need to check out our private parts, but always with a mommy or daddy in the room."  Even the smallest of children can understand this. I talk with little kids this golden rule: anywhere your bathing suit covers up is a private part. This helps them know the boundaries. 

5. Healthy touch is crucial to positive  development

hugs and snuggles, wrestling and high fives. Teach kids what healthy touch is about. Teach them who is appropriate to get touched from and how they can get it.

For example, do you hug every person you know? What if someone touches you and you feel uncomfortable? How do you handle someone getting in your space?

6. Be aware, tuned in and conscientious. Notice if things change in your children such as eating habits, mood or sleep. Tune into emotions and make sure that you know what they are about. Parents who are tuned into their children will pick up on subtle changes and address them quickly. Most sexual offenders "groom" people or spend time building relationships before they harm someone.

This may not be my original aritcle as  credit it to Your Tango, But kkeep watching this space as you and your children grow.

Victorine Mbongshu Ntambo

What’s “Fear” in Parenting and relationships?

What’s “Fear” in Parenting and Relationships?

Fear!

It’s one of the worst four letter words in our language! Fear holds us back from so many things that could be great in our lives. Fear makes us procrastinate. Fear makes us physically sick. Fear holds us back from being great people and doing great things be it is business, relationships, hobbies, and so much more! FEAR is and ENEMY. I’m sorry to be so harsh, but let’s tell it like it is … Fear SUCKS! If you have to look at Fear in a positive mode, you will agree with me that there are certainly times that fear can be a useful protective mechanism. Fear here could be regarded in lines of parenting or toward taking steps towards decisions in our business.

So many people read, study, go to seminars, and basically know all there is to know about investing in their children. They may even participate regularly on and have every intention of being a good parent, but they have never stood up to say I did it!!!! Why? You guessed it, FEAR! Fear of the unknown, fear of being successful (yes this is a real one!), fear of failing, fear of being embarrassed, fear of sounding dumb, fear of being controlling, fear of being proud, the list can be long. When we are scared, we make many excuses to avoid doing the things we fear. The ironic part is that most times our fears are unwarranted. On the other side of those fears are the very things we desire in life. We just need to begin.

Basic Steps for Overcoming Fear

Ask yourself: what is the actual fear holding me back from?
Getting clear helps you know exactly what fear(s) you need to overcome.

Ask yourself: Is my fear real and truly warranted?
What’s the worst that can happen? Will my life be over if I proceed? Probably not!

Write out an action plan to reach your goal.

Many of us do much better with a written plan. It will relieve your anxiety. Try it!

Take small baby steps every day.

Trap yourself.

Parenting is a fun journey, you won’t have time to be scared, you’re too busy pushing and being pushed through the steps because the pressure from your children, friends and relatives is on!

Be accountable to someone else.
Find someone who you trust that will be there to hold you accountable to make sure you keep moving forward, EVEN IF YOU’RE SCARED! That person could be a friend, a partner or even your own children.

However for every woman and man, our fears are most often related to failing our spouses and children.

Don’t Fail them by not practicing innovative Parenting. Learn and work on your existing skills to not fail them.

Victorine Mbong Shu.

Author and Conversationist on Involved Parenting

 Availability of book

Copies can be bought from the following avenues;

 Victorine on +27 82 548 6385

 Facebook on https://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book 

My works on www.mbongshu.co.za 

Publisher on +27 11 346 8300/www.profounder.co.za 

Xarra Books: www.Xarrabooks.co.za

     Online in South Africa: www.sabooksearch.co.za 

                                          www.takealot.com 

     Hard Copies: +27 11 440 7501- Johannesburg or www.profoundcentre.co.za 

Amazon books on www.amazon.com (search by book title) or eBook on www.kindle.com  

Confession to my Business Mistakes as CEO of Profounder Intelligence Management Services

Confession (1) on Failed Women In Leadership Conference March 2016

I pray that you find it in your hearts to accept that sometimes, the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path that we needed to travel to meet the good things. Profounder Intelligence organised its second conference on Women in Leadership scheduled for the 10 and 11 of March 2016. My colleague who handed the project was passionate about the event and the most we could tell was that she learnt as much as we all did from the challenges that we encountered during the first conference; the greatest of which was the absence of major speakers.

Four weeks to the scheduled start date of the conference, this colleague resigned from Profounder with no notice period. We could not interrogate her as her resignation letter was sent after she left. As I wished her well, I hoped that the conference did well. It pulled a few delegates and yes we decided to run the conference. Speakers were contacted, some of which were still very enthusiastic about participating at the event. Others had taken up other commitments due to the long silence from Profounder. The new Conference Producer and her senior colleague tried to replace those speakers who had pulled out.

A few days before the conference, the number of registered delegates shrank to 12. Because all those who had not cancelled had booked their flights already (coincidentally they all came from other provinces), we decided to go on with the conference. Come the morning of the conference, Johannesburg faced rain like never before. City corners were flooded and its highways were congested. Delegates were all late to all 3 events that Profounder was hosting in the same venue on the 10^th of March 2016.

When I arrived just after 9 am from picking up other delegates from their hotel, I was told that none of the speakers at the conference was present, and that even though the first speaker reported that she is at least 45 minutes away, the chair lady just texted to say that she will not be coming in. My presentation was scheduled for 10:15 am. As my colleague and I walked in to apologise, we were confronted by the first woman asking where everyone is. We explained the situation on traffic and added that we will wait for a few minutes. As we walked out, the scheduled 3^rd facilitator of the day arrived. That meant that the first 3 speakers were confirmed. As promised, we started in a few minutes as we hoped for the rest of the speakers to come in.

At the end of the first slot, the centre was broken. One of the women labelled the presentation substandard and told us that we are insulting their intelligence. I tried to apologise but they could not listen. As they continued to with every reason question Profounder’s integrity, they demanded to see the management/owner because as it stood, they claimed to be wasting their time with me. I persuaded them to have a break while my colleague and I consulted the respected speaker who would present next.

I apologised after coffee and revealed that I was the owner of the business and that for every single reason, I would never have wanted things to go this way. I told them that I can show them proof of the fact that speakers had been consulted and that initially listed speakers had confirmed their participation. I asked the floor for suggestions on the way forward, seeing that the centre was loose. For this, one of the delegates called me a poor leader who cannot take responsibility, and who cannot make decisions. Another who chose not to look at me in that manner, suggested that we called in presenters of the next day who are able to come in, to present on day one so that we can have a one day event and cancel day two at a 50% fee by them. It seemed like a great idea from a frustrated and desperate business perspective, and because things were at this state, I fully concurred to that.

Again preceding were in order until with participants' permission, Stacey Fru presented just after 3:30 pm. Less than 10 minutes into his slot, the speaker after Stacey was interrupted. The same delegate who had done the talking told the speaker that like Profounder, he is undermining their intelligence. She said that they are no fools and that they cannot spend their whole day listening to unqualified presentations by males and foreigners in a Women in Leadership Conference in their own country. She brought the room to a standstill saying many things that space cannot permit me to pronounce here. Of course she threatened to blacklist Profounder with affirmation that they have done it before with the help of their Premier. 
All I could do was repeat how sorry I was. Clearly all did not help. Before I knew it, I was called a liar and a cheat. I was accused of being deceitful and for giving the delegates the impression that my surname is not FRU; all to hide the fact that Stacey is my daughter. She told me that I made them to believe that Stacey wrote a book even though she could not respond to a question on how long exactly it took her to write it. In conclusion, this delegates said that I must not think that South Africans are fools. That they are highly qualified and cannot be fooled; 'She said poor Stacey'!

I asked this woman to get her fact correct and not reduce whatever challenges have been brought about by this day to my person. Because emotions were high, the same woman with the one-day suggestion advised that my colleagues and I leave the room to give them space to consult. My God Bless her! As I walked out, I had no intention of breaking down and bursting into tears until I met one of the delegates who asked me if I was OK. How could you ask me this just after you told me that I impersonated myself and my daughter, I am under qualified, deceitful, a liar, a cheat and a foreigner? I am not sure if my tears helped but boy! Did I cry? I cried in full view of the delegates who left the room during the argument. I cried as my colleagues sat at the corner and as my four children all watched. One after the other, my children ran to me to ask what the problem was. To every one of them, I said 'work' was the problem.

Eventually, we were called in and the group handed over a document to sign the above decision. We signed, parted ways and that was the dead of the conference on Women in Leadership 2016 by Profounder Intelligence.

Real life challenges and empowering lessons

The first challenge for Profounder is that of human resources. Staffing is compromised in quality but also in loyalty. We have to look at this keenly and as the chief executive officer, the research unit should be my priority in monitoring and evaluation. The fact that my team had not been entirely transparent about everything to me and that I did not know about what I did not know, obviously liberated my conscious, but trapped my thoughts as I feel like truly I betrayed the delegates.

Secondly, in this industry in general, we have little control over how speakers and delegates conduct themselves. Even one of the speakers with whom I have worked very closely and claim to be a friend to, betrayed my organisation without seeing need to discuss her stance with me. Do I bear a grudge against her? Not after writing this. In fact, I thank her for the lesson of a relationship. I noticed that for a healthy working experience, we could demand more commitments from speakers and partners.

Thirdly, the conference should have been marketed over a longer time than 10 weeks. This would have given participants enough time to prepare. It would have given Profounder ample time to secure delegates, sponsors, exhibitors and other partners.

Lastly, quality does not have to be compromised. Not in the way we did, especially for a conference of this magnitude and not for any reason.

My attitude.

I am sincerely sorry that things fell apart at this conference. Failure is a business owner’s nightmare. However, I have great pity for those who buy brands and who go for names. I do not see how learning from a specific person is more empowering than learning a lesson. To any South African who still considers me and my family as foreigners, I make a pronouncement that this is my home and that this Country has given my children and I the opportunity to choose to live here. I do not have plans of going anywhere and the best part of me behaves like a South African. I find myself qualified in all i do as well. I treat my business with respect and will stand every insult of being a foreigner because yes I was born one. I will be a foreigner for as long as I live but I am academically qualified in what i do and I live South African.

Stacey Fru has been interrogated before on her works but I will not say anything in her defense. The choice is yours to make. All I do right now is remember a message from my big brother in June 2015 that said ‘there will be haters, doubters, and cynics, but take everyone along. It is not about you or ‘US’, it is about amazing Stacey - the author’. Did my brother see this coming? Sorry I am not a Fru and for all I know, I will remain a Shu. However, Stacey remains my daughter and she remains an author and a speaker to those who trust in her.

To you.

What I chose to leave with you is not just this message. What I chose to leave with you are the lessons of this message. The lessons revealed by the conduct of Profounder Intelligence, the partners to Profounder's ventures but particularly to this conference and the lessons revealed by its participants. The lessons revealed by the divine intervention in the manner in which events unfolded is important to my team and I. I am sure that they are important to your team and to you.

Please chose Profounder Intelligence Management Services in future.

Victorine Mbong Shu
CEO and author of the book 'Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting!.

Profounder Intelligence Management Services
Johannesburg.

Rental. How do you Set it?

Before I ever bought a property, I thought that my landlords set the rent through some type of irrefutable science. I never questioned how they came up with the numbers. I took it as a given: The sky is blue, the grass is green so why can the rental not be as set?

Well today as a landlady today, I now know that pricing your rentals starts with the demand for your property, then your research on rentals for the area and of course the biggest of all; guesswork. Look at its position, fixtures, layout, land size, stand size, view, amenities. To me and many other property owners, these variables make figuring out the ideal rental price an art, rather than a strict formula.

Here are some of the ways I determine the rental prices for my units. (Hint: It’s a lot of trial-and-error!)

• property24 and Private Property are my best friend when I’m buying a new property or renewing a lease. All I do is to set the search criteria, such as the number of bedrooms, position and size and search using keywords that anyone looking for a rental in your neighborhood would use. “4-bedroom in Bramley.” In this case, it is also easy and cheap way for me to see what the competition is charging. Lately I’ve been further narrowing my search through more specific keyword phrases like “walking distance to X” or “rent includes water and electricity”.
• Signs! Land signs and the quality of the properties are one of the most underrated ways to scout a neighborhood. Most will list only basic information: the number of bedrooms and bathrooms, the rent, and a phone number. You won’t see pictures of the interior, but a glance at the exterior will give you a generally decent idea of the property’s condition. Even the lifestyle of neighbours can help
• Market Demand / Seasonality. I’ll admit, I charge higher prices for vacancies that come on the market during the months of March through August, when there’s lots of turnover in most area. I’ll ask for a lower sticker price in December, when most migrant workers and students could be traveling not to come back in most cases.
• Renovations or Say Updates. Ah, the four words that will make a listing shine: “Electric Fencing and CCTV.” As a general rule, I’ll raise the rent by R500 per month or more as compared to a similar.
• Moving Target. I’ve occasionally asked for rent that was too far off base, but I learned my lesson quickly when no one responded to my adverts. At the same time, I priced too low, and regretted when it was too late. Actually I still regret now because tenant is still in and I cannot just increase their rental without breaking the law
• Tomb of rule. All I can say at this point that in some regards, the rent is a moving target, a trial-and-error experiment. As such, all I do is to test a price for a few days, and adjust it based on the feedback.

My last words are that setting rent is far more of an art than a science.

You can join the conversation. How do you set the rent?

 

 

Our Home is still being built

My husband and I own a skills development/workplace training company with 30 full time and 8 part-time employees. After his PhD in 2009, my husband quit his job and joined me on a full time basis to run our company. This is partially because we had 3 kids already and I was not coping on my own and because we realised that working as a team, we could do better. It has been the best choice we ever made. We work well as a team and though I will like to have as much rest and as much time spent with my four kids than initially envisaged, I just can't because this company has just turned 5 years old and still in a learning curve of business.
my husband is putting in all his time and effort to see that all goes well. We are sure seeing the reward of hard work and of working as a team.
I thank God for the man I married and do hope that we leave long and healthy to harvest what we are planting today.

Letter from God to Moms

And I think every child will like to write this in their own version to their mothers too.

Dear Women,

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man.

I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity.

From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped and modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.

Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to him.

You are My perfect angel, My beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and My eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart.

Your eyes ... don't change them. Your lips ... how lovely when they part in prayer. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me.

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support. You are special because you are an extension of Me.

Man represents my image, Woman my emotions.

Together, you represent the totality of God.

Remember I love you, God

Cake with the Right Mixture and Wrong Mix

OMG I baked this plain cake that turned out to be so plain. On Tuesday when I got back home from work, I felt like baking. I have never been good with the Oven but hey! What can a woman do?
I decided to bake a cake using the following recipes;

Flour - 4 cups
butter - 8 tablespoons scoops
eggs - 6
salt - 1 teaspoon
milk - 2 cups
sugar - 2 cups
baking powder - 4 teaspoons
nutmeg - 2 teaspoons

Guess how I went about it?
I mixed the sugar, eggs, butter, milk together in one bowl and then flour, nutmeg, salt, and baking powder in another.
What a dump thing to mix milk, not melted butter, sugar and eggs together? How did I hope to get the butter smooth? Really there was no way out given that I do not have a mixer.

Using common sense, I had to add the powderish mixture to the liquid mixture. it took a lot of effort to do it but eventually we had a smooth cakish mixture.
Eating the cake, it is just the best thing I have ever baked.

Yes sometimes mistakes are not mistakes at all.

Developing Reading Habits in Children

Most parents will agree that reading habit can't be developed over night. You must spend some time and put in hard effort to encourage your kids to read more in a consistent manner.

For beginning readers, you are reminded to select books that match their skill level. Don't expect your kids to love reading immediately. You must help them to find the suitable books. For your information, younger children enjoy books that use word repetition, rhymes and predictable text. Hence, you should look for books with colorful pictures and simple words for them. For instance, if your kids have favorite books, they may enjoy other books written by the same author. You can get different books written by the same author for them.

You are reminded to find out what your children are interested in. Then, you should help them to choose the books that are related to their interests. Once they start showing their preferences, you can encourage them to choose the books on their own.

When the young children have already started reading, you can select a wide variety of books for them. You are advised to choose those books that you can read together with them. At the same time, you can also choose books which your kids can read to you. By doing so, you are able to share some nice stories with your kids and it helps to develop their reading habit.

What if your kids do not like reading at the first place? Don't worry. Never ever force them to read. You can encourage them to write along when they read. You can ask your children to produce artwork or make their own books. You can even ask them to make their own bookmarks. By doing so, they will be able to develop a reading habit slowly.

It is not necessary to read at home. You can ask your kids to read any material wherever they go. When you go shopping, you can ask your kids to read the sign boards or the names of the products. By doing so regularly, I am sure you will be able to start building their background knowledge and vocabulary easily.

In order to achieve great success, you need to apply the above mentioned strategies in a smart manner. At the same time, you need to have great patience in creating good learning environment for the young kids.

History of Profounder Intelligence: Born May 2007 ... Up-dated 2012

Victorine Mbong Shu, the founder and CEO of Profounder Intelligence Management Services was born in the North West Province of Cameroon in 1977 as a 4th child in a family of 10 children. She went through high school hoping to be a broadcast Journalist. Fortunately for her, she got admission to study Journalism and Mass Communications in 1996 at the prestigious University of Buea under the sponsorship of her brother; Mr. Kum Godlove Bezeng.

After graduating in 1999, Victorine came to face the realities of the world. She picked up a job as a Communications Officer in a traditional medical research company in Yaounde-Cameroon. After working there for 5 months, she left for South Africa on the invitation of her big Brother.

It was in South Africa that Victorine came to realize that her dream of becoming a journalist was just that; a dream. Instead of furthering her studies with the University of Grahamstown as was the plan, she joined her brother to work as a researcher or simply put, a conference producer in his conferencing company called Excellante International.

THE COLLAPSED 'MISSING' LINK

In 2004, Victorine enrolled with the University of KwaZuluNatal to persue an MBA, specializing in Strategic Communications. In 2005 after a full year of study and as she embarked on her long essay, she got the news that changed her life forever. The MBA programme by the University was not accredited and has been suspended until further notice. Though not particularly good news, it was well received by Victorine for two reasons. The first one is that she was not particularly good at accounting (which was a compulsory module), and the second was that she and her husband were excitedly awaiting the birth of the next person who will still her heart and take centre stage in her life. This was an opportunity to say Good-bye to further quest for knowledge without feeling guilty. After all, her brother’s dream was fulfilled and she is about to fulfill her mother’s dream of ‘finding a man and bearing children’.

THE COINCIDENCE:

Meanwhile Victorine excelled in this position until early 2007 when the tides changed. Haven gone on maternity leave for her second baby, she learnt in the month of February that the company was retrenching and preparing for a close down in March. Her brother, who loved her so much and feared to hurt her, had concealed this from her even though he had in the past months urged her to try and get a job elsewhere. In many indirect ways, her brother had made it clear that the company might not continue to run in the near future. On her part, Victorine did not want to desert her brother who has done so much to see that she is educated and fit for work. As faith had it, in March 2007, Excellante closed down. Maybe he was serious about this but Mr. Kum said to Victorine “you have been such a wonderful producer in the past. Just pick out some furniture here, and start-up your own business. I know you can do it. You are a people’s person and peoples’ people always go far”. Did he really need to persuade her that much? As she pondered on this point, also took his suggestion very lightly, as she continue to give it deeper thoughts as days go by without food on the table.

God “Blessed” Victorine with a job offer in another company; Unicapital Consult starting May 3rd that same year. This job lasted only until May 12 when she was fired via an SMS for non-performance.

As a young mother of two with a full-time Ph.D student for a husband, Victorine again turned to her brother for shelter. He handed over the furniture to her and two very good employees whose loyalty had kept them by him for the past weeks.

Within the first weekend of May, Victorine, Emmanuel and Harry sat to brain storm on a company name. The name Profounder International was rejected by CIPRO in favour of Profounder Intelligence Management Services and voila on May 10th 2007, there was a new baby in the training industry.

Profounder had a Conference inherited from Excellante which was marketed from her two bedrooms flat with limited resources. The start-up furniture and staff was available. A total staff of 7 in numbers who were basically the two employees, Victorine, her husband Emmanuel, their family friend Harry and her sister Judith. God has seen the company through, and today it boosts over 24 full time workers. A management team of 6 compliments this staff with one of them a Ph.D holder.

The need to feed the four children she has and at the same time secretly fulfill her dreams, the passion, trust, support and commitment from Victorine’s husband, the dedication of Profounder’s clients, the loyalty of staff members and especially her managers, and most of all the invisible hand of God has made Profounder Intelligence a company that boosts a stable work environment that only gets better.


PROFOUNDER INTELLIGENCE’S SCOPE OF SERVICES:

Profounder Intelligence’s provides corporate and management training solutions to private and public sectors within South Africa and its’ footprint can be seen throughout the African continent. The company’s services include; Training through conferences, workshops and in-house trainings, Business Support Services through coaching, mentoring, and Soft Services, venue sourcing, transportation, cleaning services, etc.

Other services include;

• Catering and events management

• Stationery, Consumables & Office Supplies

• Cleaning for commercial and residential accommodation

• Conference Facilities

• Transportation and Distribution Services

• First Aid and OHS Act Management & Consultancy


GRATITUDE

To the Lord Almighty for using Mr. Kum to inspire Victorine and for paying her bills when we had no cent.

To Kum Godlove Bezeng (MBA) for his trust and inspiration.

To Emmanuel Anyefru (PhD) for his dedication and selfless efforts.

To Mr. Haddison Fonane for, financial, morale, and physical support.

To all the two unnamed staff members and Judith that hatched this egg called Profounder

To all Profounder’s clients for being there when they were, are and will be needed the most .

To Profounder Intelligence (the staff) for turning a nightmare into life worth living.

To all those who have been very instrumental but are not named here; please note that your effort has not been unnoticed or forgotten.

And finally for those who did not believe in Victorine because their doubts helped her build the community she survives in today.

******************************************************************** Also to you for reading

Sydney's entry to this world. Our World, Our home

The story goes that I was tired of waiting and expecting to wake up to labour every night. On Sunday the 4^th of Dec, I decided to pass by the chemist and get some castor oil. Yes i did get it but contemplated for a long time on whether or not to take it. Finally at 09:10 pm, I took two tablespoons full at a gulp. At this point, My intention is to take two more spoons should I not be in labour by the next day.

I waited until just after 11 pm and with no sign of labour, I decided to go to bed. To my surprise, I woke up to pains at 11:30 pm. I went to pee and then back to bed. At about 11:45, I woke up to yet another pain, this time it felt like cramps but I was not too sure.

I went back to bed and up again at midnight. At each of these periods, i went to pee; not just because i wanted to but also because i was checking for signs of spotting.

At this point (at about 12:20), I could not sleep anymore. Yet I was not sure on whether or not I was in labour. The pain however has changed into very painful and intense contractions. At 01:05, I went and got some juice in case of vomiting or soft stool. It was a difficult walk in and out of rooms.

At about 01:55 I woke up to the urge to poop. Yes i did poop generously and now the discomfort was unbearable. Unable to go back to sleep, I decided to start documenting the events and so took my baby little diary to the dining room in fear of disturbing my husband. I wrote down everything that was there to write and so became bored. I tried to go back to bed but ... I made. I went back to bed at 2 am but had to wake up like every  15 minutes to either pee or poop with very little coming out.

My husband realised i was in labour just before 02:30 am I vomited 3 times between 2:40 am and 4:00 am.

We left home at 04:14, and got to the clinic at 04: 40. At this point I was checked at 7 cm. The Midwife arrived at 04:55 and joined the nurse in preparing water for the birth. With no time to check the baby's heart beat, I was put in the bath.

My water broke at the first push and the baby was fully out at 05:03 on the 5th of Dec after 3 pushes.  He weighed 3.820 kg, was 53 cm and head was 37 cm.

We Thank God for baby Sydney.

Driving During Contractions

Many pregnant women if not all will attest that be them false or real, contractions can catch us unaware and can do so any where any time, any how. It could be while you are laughing, crying, singing or paying. When pregnant, I have had bumpy rides while my contraction attacks are on. It is scary though but ... what choice do we have?
If you can share, just tell me what has your experience been?

Baby Shower for my Last born boy-Sydney

I would not like to load this page with pregnancy stories but ... Baby Sidney is taking too long to come out. The wait started at 37 weeks (full term) and intensified at 38 weeks. Shanon and Stacey were born just after 38 weeks and so we thought lil man shall be born around then also. However, it looks like he has chosen to pair with Synclaire who was overdue.
But like his daddy has said, let him come out when God and him are ready.
To be honest pregnancy is the most amazing thing and I do not mind feeling pregnant. All the pains and sleepless nights are worth it at the end. Imagine how quiet our house would have been without our lil bees. Imagine how boring our lives would have been and imagine how rich we would have been. At the moment, the house is busy, our lives are entertaining and we are very wealthy.

We love ypur and are all waiting for you baby Sydney.

Laugh Out Loud. Laugh like a parent.

Synclaire my two years old busy bee makes me laugh out urine now and then.
OK while pregnant for Sydney, we were watching TV with daddy lying on the couch while I was lying on the floor cos I could hardly find a comfortable position. She was in turn moving around between us.
After a short while hubby asked me if I was comfortable. I ignored him, so my lil one asked "daddy what did you say?"
Daddy said to her "ask your mother if she is comfortable"
Lil girl went "Mummy are you com, com, com, mommy what is your name?"
She can now pronounce the word but hey, I could not stop laughing as she startled.

My Life in October 2011

It is hard to believe it myself but yes I shall soon be a mother of four. I cannot tell you how it feels but I look forward to strength from God to overcome the challenges.
In April  2004, I went to get my womb tied because I wanted nothing to do with babies. I had just met this young Master student who so much wanted us to get married and have kids. In fact he seemed to have wanted kids more than marriage. In frustration, I decided to get my womb tied. The delay from my doctor's reluctance; for he thought I was too young and the price delayed me to change my mind just a few months after seeing the doctor. I fell pregnant in July of the same year.

In April 2005, I heard the cry of my own off-spring. How funny. After being pregnant 6 times (2 miscarriages on the 2nd of March at 11 weeks 5 days and on the 22nd of July 2011 at 8 weeks 5 days), I am soon to be a mother of 4 beautiful babies; Shanon 2005, Stacey 2007, Synclaire 2009 and Sydney 2011.

How else can I thank God? Please tell me.

Want to tell your story? Write to me and I shall publish it.

Breast Cancer

Cancer in South Africa is an emerging health problem, with breast cancer being one of the leading cancers in women, following similar worldwide trends. One in 29 women in SA is diagnosed with breast cancer every year. However, timely detection can lead to diagnosis of the cancer in its early stages, aiding treatment and recovery. Breast cancer is a general term for different types of cancer that develop from breast tissue cells. Find out about the different types of breast cancer, the various treatment options available and the latest research that’s being done in this field

Mammals in the womb

A human being stays for 9 months in the womb otherwise known as the human incubator, yet when they are born, the countdown starts afresh. Why? Why do we not just continue from conception? Even premature babies get counted from the day they were born and not their expected due date.
In any way the Almighty God is mighty. He created the human race in such a way that many questions are asked but few answers are given. He keeps us inquisitive forever.
Another interesting fact is that the human being is the only mammal that nurtures their offspring’s for up to and more than a year before they are free to go on their own (I mean walk) and they stay dependent for a long time. Take a look at other birds and animals; the dogs, monkeys, birds, etc. Their lil ones step out and are ready to fend for themselves shortly after they are born.
Any comments?
Send them through!!!!!!

Brief History of Profounder Intelligence

Victorine Mbong Shu, the founder and CEO of Profounder Intelligence Management Services was born in the North West Province of Cameroon in 1977 as a 4th child in a family of 10 children. She went through high school hoping to be a broadcast Journalist. Fortunately for her, she got admission to study Journalism and Mass Communications in 1996 at the prestigious University of Buea under the sponsorship of her brother; Mr. Kum Godlove Bezeng.

After graduating in 1999, Victorine came to face the realities of the world. She picked up a job as a Communications Officer in a traditional medical research company in Yaounde-Cameroon. After working there for 5 months, she left for South Africa on the invitation of her big Brother.

It was in South Africa that Victorine came to realize that her dream of becoming a journalist was just that; a dream. Instead of furthering her studies with the University of Grahamstown as was the plan, she joined her brother to work as a researcher or simply put, a conference producer in his conferencing company called Excellante International.

 THE COLLAPSED 'MISSING' LINK

In 2004, Victorine enrolled with the University of KwaZuluNatal to persue an MBA, specializing in Strategic Communications. In 2005 after a full year of study and as she embarked on her long essay, she got the news that changed her life forever. The MBA programme by the University was not accredited and has been suspended until further notice. Though not particularly good news, it was well received by Victorine for two reasons. The first one is that she was not particularly good at accounting (which was a compulsory module), and the second was that she and her husband were excitedly awaiting the birth of the next person who will still her heart and take centre stage in her life. This was an opportunity to say Good-bye to further quest for knowledge without feeling guilty. After all, her brother’s dream was fulfilled and she is about to fulfill her mother’s dream of ‘finding a man and bearing children’.

THE COINCIDENCE:

Meanwhile Victorine excelled in this position until early 2007 when the tides changed. Haven gone on maternity leave for her second baby, she learnt in the month of February that the company was retrenching and preparing for a close down in March. Her brother, who loved her so much and feared to hurt her, had concealed this from her even though he had in the past months urged her to try and get a job elsewhere. In many indirect ways, her brother had made it clear that the company might not continue to run in the near future. On her part, Victorine did not want to desert her brother who has done so much to see that she is educated and fit for work. As faith had it, in March 2007, Excellante closed down. Maybe he was serious about this but Mr. Kum said to Victorine “you have been such a wonderful producer in the past. Just pick out some furniture here, and start-up your own business. I know you can do it. You are a people’s person and peoples’ people always go far”. Did he really need to persuade her that much? As she pondered on this point, also took his suggestion very lightly, as she continue to give it deeper thoughts as days go by without food on the table.

God “Blessed” Victorine with a job offer in another company; Unicapital Consult starting May 3rd that same year. This job lasted only until May 12 when she was fired via an SMS for non-performance.

As a young mother of two with a full-time Ph.D student for a husband, Victorine again turned to her brother for shelter. He handed over the furniture to her and two very good employees whose loyalty had kept them by him for the past weeks.

Within the first weekend of May, Victorine, Emmanuel and Harry sat to brain storm on a company name. The name Profounder International was rejected by CIPRO in favour of Profounder Intelligence Management Services and voila on May 10th 2007, there was a new baby in the training industry.

Profounder had a Conference inherited from Excellante which was marketed from her two bedrooms flat with limited resources. The start-up furniture and staff was available. A total staff of 7 in numbers who were basically the two employees, Victorine, her husband Emmanuel, their family friend Harry and her sister Judith. God has seen the company through, and today it boosts over 24 full time workers. A management team of 6 compliments this staff with one of them a Ph.D holder.

The need to feed the four children she has and at the same time secretly fulfill her dreams, the passion, trust, support and commitment from Victorine’s husband, the dedication of Profounder’s clients, the loyalty of staff members and especially her managers, and most of all the invisible hand of God has made Profounder Intelligence a company that boosts a stable work environment that only gets better.


PROFOUNDER INTELLIGENCE’S SCOPE OF SERVICES:

Profounder Intelligence’s provides corporate and management training solutions to private and public sectors within South Africa and its’ footprint can be seen throughout the African continent. The company’s services include; Training through conferences, workshops and in-house trainings, Business Support Services through coaching, mentoring, and Soft Services, venue sourcing, transportation, cleaning services, etc.

Other services include;

• Catering and events management

• Stationery, Consumables & Office Supplies

• Cleaning for commercial and residential accommodation

• Conference Facilities

• Transportation and Distribution Services

• First Aid and OHS Act Management & Consultancy


GRATITUDE

To the Lord Almighty for using Mr. Kum to inspire Victorine and for paying her bills when we had no cent.

To Kum Godlove Bezeng (MBA) for his trust and inspiration.

To Emmanuel Anyefru (PhD) for his dedication and selfless efforts.

To Mr. Haddison Fonane for, financial, morale, and physical support.

To all the two unnamed staff members and Judith that hatched this egg called Profounder

To all Profounder’s clients for being there when they were, are and will be needed the most .

To Profounder Intelligence (the staff) for turning a nightmare into life worth living.

To all those who have been very instrumental but are not named here; please note that your effort has not been unnoticed or forgotten.

And finally for those who did not believe in Victorine because their doubts helped her build the community she survives in today.

******************************************************************** Also to you for reading

Parenting toolkit

YOUR PARENTING TOOLKIT

How To Make Peace With Disapointment
- parents who can deal with it = children who can deal with it -

1. Allow Cracks & Focus On The Light The Crack Let's In

A crack in your marriage, career, or personal plans doesn’t mean that your life is broken. According to singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”  Focus on the light that the crack let's in.2. Throw Away The Lies/Evidence

Albert Einstein failed his college entrance exam. Walt Disney was fired from his first media job. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Get it?

So many times we struggle under the weight of a tag or label that was hung around our necks in the past. Take it from someone who was tagged at school for being a bad influence. I knew I never was and will never be but it was up to me to get rid of the so-called evidence/lies that others hung around my neck.3. Ignore The Critics

Success is one percent natural talent, 99 percent hard work. Take it from a famous writer whose eighth-grade paper was read aloud as an example of how NOT to write. Also, if you don't get criticized it means you are doing nothing.

4. Grow Your Roots

Although the bamboo is the fastest-growing plant on Earth, it looks lazy at first because it has no branches…just lots of deep and wide roots. Once its roots take hold, though, bamboo is capable of surging as fast as 48 inches in 24 hours. So are we … if we grow strong roots. 5. Don’t rush the process

Only in struggling to emerge from a small hole in the cocoon does a butterfly form wings strong enough to fly. Should you try to help a butterfly by tearing open the cocoon, the poor thing won’t sprout wings, or if it does, its friends will make fun of it. So take your time, and emerge slowly and deliberately.

6. Protect yourself

Avoid the highly educated relative who might tell you “all things happen for a reason” or that you somehow attracted this disappointment with the wrong thoughts. Build an imaginary bubble of protection and hide inside.

7. Stay big

Newspaper columnist Ann Landers once wrote, “Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, "I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me." So give yourself permission to be a giant! 8. Write About It

Recent research by Dr. James Pennebaker, chair of the psychology program at the University of Texas, has concluded that writing about painful feelings and emotional events relieves stress and promotes healing on many levels. So start a journal, and put anything—from a single word to pages of thoughts—down on paper.

One of my favourite saying: DON'T JUST THINK IT. INK IT.

9. Start Over

Every disappointment is an opportunity to start over. It’s a blank slate, a clean, white piece of paper. And don’t worry--if this time you still can’t color within the lines, you’ll get another blank sheet, as many new beginnings as you need. And Be Gentle with Yourself

Don’t scream at yourself. Speak to yourself with loving kindness, the same way you would to a friend who was just dealt a big, fat, unfair blow. You deserve kindness from everyone, including yourself. And Dance in the Rain,  “You can’t wait for the storm to be over. You have to learn how to dance in the rain.”

10. Hang on to HOPE
There is one thing that never, ever disappoints. And that’s hope. Hold onto it forever.

I really appreciated this quote the other day. “When you feel you are at the end of the rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

sick Children

It is difficult to grow up,I often say to my kids to appeal on their emotions. Imagine talking to a child and they ignore you. Imagine hitting a child yet they carry on provoking you. Imagine beating your child, a relative's or a friend's child for breaking a glass. Imagine depriving your child from something as easy as watching television.
All these thoughts are not worthy unless you loose the presence of a healthy child. It is regretable to see how frail a sick person looks. It is disturbing to see that the spoiler, breaker, etc is now an attention seeker. It is not fun to nurse a sick child. As such I leave with this short prayer.
Lord God I commit all the children of the world in your hands and ask that may you be invisibly present in the lives of all sick children and their caregivers. AMEN.

iPad Marketer is Shanon Fru

It was on the second day of march when teacher Sue of Sacred Heart College Preprimary School approached me to say that my son (Shanon) will be doing a marketing campaign for Apple Computer on the 9th of March in Hyde Park-Johannesburg. I did not take it serious until when I was approached on the 4th with the dress code and his speech. Before I tried to teach him his speech, Shanon could rehearse it all and even do actions in the air.

On the eve of the campaign, I found myself shopping for a new pair of sports shoes for this boy to wear, gave orders for his uniforms to be prepared (the best of all pairs of course) and took him out for a hair cut before going home that afternoon.

Came the morning of the 9th, mum and dad seemed more nervous than Shanon was. We asked him to say his speech over and over again until the litle boy cried out to say he is tired. We left for school that morning with Shanon wearing a normal pair of clothing with his uniform kept for a change. "We will have to be there at 3pm, and this means I shall fetch you at 1pm so we take your sisters home" I told him as we parted. "Okay Mumy, make sure you are here late because I don't want to be late". I smiled off wondering if he knew the real meaning of what he just said.

At exactly 14:45pm, we were at the Nu-Metro Cinema at Hyde Park waiting in Hall 8 as the crew and team set up. There came the Microphone and the boy rehearsing over and over and over again. As every second passed by, I got more tense with daddy sitting as composed as he has always been. As we make the boy gain confidence by the mike and cameras, we realised that Stacey his 4 year-old sister has fallen in-love with the cameras and mikes too.
I think by suggesting that we take her and Baby Synclaire along, daddy was quite sure that Stacey will love the stage as was his aim.

I could never be so pround. Speaker after speaker took the stage until my 5 year-old boy's turn finally came. He did us so proud. More proud we were beacuse again, he was called up to give a video interview after the show.
Howz that?