What’s “Fear” in Parenting and Relationships?
Fear!
It’s one of the worst four letter words in our language! Fear holds us back from so many things that could be great in our lives. Fear makes us procrastinate. Fear makes us physically sick. Fear holds us back from being great people and doing great things be it is business, relationships, hobbies, and so much more! FEAR is and ENEMY. I’m sorry to be so harsh, but let’s tell it like it is … Fear SUCKS! If you have to look at Fear in a positive mode, you will agree with me that there are certainly times that fear can be a useful protective mechanism. Fear here could be regarded in lines of parenting or toward taking steps towards decisions in our business.
So many people read, study, go to seminars, and basically know all there is to know about investing in their children. They may even participate regularly on and have every intention of being a good parent, but they have never stood up to say I did it!!!! Why? You guessed it, FEAR! Fear of the unknown, fear of being successful (yes this is a real one!), fear of failing, fear of being embarrassed, fear of sounding dumb, fear of being controlling, fear of being proud, the list can be long. When we are scared, we make many excuses to avoid doing the things we fear. The ironic part is that most times our fears are unwarranted. On the other side of those fears are the very things we desire in life. We just need to begin.
Basic Steps for Overcoming Fear
Ask yourself: what is the actual fear holding me back from?
Getting clear helps you know exactly what fear(s) you need to overcome.
Ask yourself: Is my fear real and truly warranted?
What’s the worst that can happen? Will my life be over if I proceed? Probably not!
Write out an action plan to reach your goal.
Many of us do much better with a written plan. It will relieve your anxiety. Try it!
Take small baby steps every day.
Trap yourself.
Parenting is a fun journey, you won’t have time to be scared, you’re too busy pushing and being pushed through the steps because the pressure from your children, friends and relatives is on!
Be accountable to someone else.
Find someone who you trust that will be there to hold you accountable to make sure you keep moving forward, EVEN IF YOU’RE SCARED! That person could be a friend, a partner or even your own children.
However for every woman and man, our fears are most often related to failing our spouses and children.
Don’t Fail them by not practicing innovative Parenting. Learn and work on your existing skills to not fail them.
Victorine Mbong Shu.
Author and Conversationist on Involved Parenting
Availability of book
Copies can be bought from the following avenues;
Victorine on +27 82 548 6385
My works on www.mbongshu.co.za
Publisher on +27 11 346 8300/www.profounder.co.za
Xarra Books: www.Xarrabooks.co.za
Online in South Africa: www.sabooksearch.co.za
www.takealot.com
Hard Copies: +27 11 440 7501- Johannesburg or www.profoundcentre.co.za
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